Monday, May 04, 2009

Ask Roar from 34

I've long wondered what it is that qualifies a person to write an advice column. It likely requires the same credentials necessary to be a blogger, namely none. With that in mind, I've decided to merge my unqualified worlds. Enjoy the result, my (imagined) advice column, "Ask Roar from 34."


Dear Roar,

I fear that my boss is losing faith in me. He may even want to replace me with one of my co-workers. Just this past week he told me that he wants to take a look at the situation and do what's in the best interest of the organization. That sounds a lot to me like corporate doublespeak. Sure, there are others who could do my job, but I want to be the guy to do it. I really want the opportunity to work things out on my own. Any advice on how to convince my boss to let me do so?

-Flat Brim


Dear Flat Brim,

It's always tough to face competition in the workplace, especially in an economy like this when options for new jobs seem so limited. Have you considered doing your job more effectively? Bosses tend to like that sort of thing.

-Roar



Dear Roar,

I've experienced a lot of loss lately, and it's starting to make me a bit temperamental. I've even gotten tossed out of a couple of places, not that I've deserved it. Anyway, do you have any advice on how can I keep it together?

-Depressed in the Dugout


Dear Depressed,

Perhaps you should channel your disappointment in a more positive way. Do you have any hobbies? Yoga, maybe?

Perspective is always very important, so try to remember that no matter how bad things might seem, there's always someone who has it worse than you do.

-Roar



Dear Roar,

With the Birds headed to Tampa Bay for a two-game set, now is a good a time as any to ask - Are the O's this year's Rays?

-Diehard in Downtown


Dear Diehard,

Yes ... the 2007 Rays.

-Roar

7 comments:

Zach said...

Hahahaha! This is awesome. Very clever. Poor Sherrill, I hope he turns it around. Go O's.

MDbirdlover said...

I think this should be a regular thing for you!
You seem to have it all in the way of a columnist! (I've often wondered those creds too)

Knowledge, sense of humor and umn...a good work eithic?

Dig it!

Matthew Taylor said...

Thanks, Molly. Much appreciated.

Stephen said...

Now I think everyone knows that some young ballsplayers are coming. But the next VIP question who will be the manager of the team in the next stage. My vote is for Rick Dempsey to give it a try!

Stephen
Johnson

Matthew Taylor said...

I haven't given up on Trembley yet. I still like the guy, despite the sometimes quick bullpen hook.

Crys said...

Entertaining as always! :-)

Matthew Taylor said...

Thanks, Crys.