The Sports Pickle has provided a list of "8 Teams and Their High School Classmate Equivalents" that includes two of the Orioles' A.L. East rivals: the Red Sox and the Yankees.
Of the Red Sox: "This is the girl who was unattractive and kind of a loser at the start of high school. But then she got hot all of a sudden and became unbearable to put up with."
Of the Yankees: "She had it all. She was hot, a top student and a great athlete. But it was only because her dad got her a boob job and paid for all kinds of top tutors and personal coaches."
And for those of you who are fans of other Maryland teams (and of gender equity in insults), here's the description of Duke: "The rich, smug, phony who almost no one liked. But for some reason all the teachers and parents bought his act and he was able to just coast through school."