Saturday, August 01, 2009

"Performance Enhacing Cheaters Night" at Camden Yards

As if David Ortiz being revealed as a steroid cheat shortly before traveling to Baltimore for a weekend series with the Birds isn't enough to raise your baseball cynicism, Aug. 1 is the fourth anniversary of Rafael Palmeiro testing positive for steroids.

Perhaps Saturday should be "Performance Enhancing Cheaters Night" at Camden Yards.

The team can bring back the likes of Tejada, Palmeiro, Sosa, Bigbie, and Segui; hand out souvenir copies of the 2005 Orioles Media Guide; and run Palmeiro's old Viagra ads on the Jumbotron between innings for a different kind of "performance enhancing" laugh.

More after the jump.

Then, as (insert your own adjective here - some have chosen "sanctimonious") Red Sox fans have a laugh at the O's expense, Big Papi will come to the plate and O's fans can laugh right back before starting in on a "1918" chant.

Finally, Manny Ramirez shares a videotaped message with fans at Camden Yards thanking them for their support throughout the years in the form of cheers and hand slaps and everyone just excuses the whole thing as "Manny Being Manny."

Yeah, so as I was saying, cynicism ....

-Think the O's players are frustrated with the number of Red Sox fans at Camden Yards?

Aubrey Huff, speaking of his home run in Friday's 6-5 loss to the Red Sox: "It sure was nice. I'm just glad it landed near the bullpen so a Red Sox fan couldn't get it."

Okay, we need some positive stuff to counterbalance all these negative vibes. So, on to the good news.

-There's another Orioles anniversary that falls on Aug. 1. In 1994, Cal Ripken played in his 2,000th consecutive game, a 1-0 win against the Twins.

-My favorite Orioles pitching prospect, Brian Matusz, might be promoted to start Tuesday's game against the Tigers.

Too soon? Perhaps. But I think it's safe to follow the model the Rays established with David Price, who started this season in the minors after a strong ALCS performance in 2008. Give Matusz a taste of the big leagues to see where he needs to improve and hope that he adjusts accordingly after returning to the minors. Or maybe he pitches well, in which case he stays in the bigs and we all go out for ice cream to celebrate.

-Ending on a positive note: Football season is right around the corner, and Derrick Mason is returning to the Ravens.

Image Source: Here.


Dean Hybl said...


This is an awesome post. I love it: Performance Enhancing Cheaters Night.

Unfortunately, they could have the promo just about every week the way the revelations are going.

I say it is time to produce the entire list instead of this slow, painful slow leak.

Matthew Taylor said...

Thanks, Dean. It's sad but true that the promo could endure.