Volume 3 (see: Vol. 1 & Vol. 2) of Roar from 34's imagined advice column "Ask Roar from 34" addresses fatigue and injury issues, stain-removal tips, and the loss of loved ones as well as less-loved ones.
Dear Roar from 34,
I'm feeling drained, and I've been limping around with a groin strain to boot. What gives?
-Young Gun
Dear Young Gun,
Welcome to Baltimore, kid. I'm not surprised on either count. That latest no-decision must've felt like a kick in the groin. Perhaps that explains the injury.
-Roar from 34
[More advice after the jump.]
Dear Roar from 34,
What's it like in Baltimore this time of year?
-Player to be Named
Dear Player to Be Named,
So hot it'll make you swoon.
-Roar from 34
Dear Roar from 34,
Got any tips for removing shaving cream stains?
-Debuted in Detroit
Dear Debuted in Detroit,
Well, Good Housekeeping makes it seem pretty simple. Pretreat with a prewash stain remover and launder.
-Roar from 34
Dear Roar from 34,
I just hit a clutch home run before a sellout crowd to finish a dramatic four-game sweep of our main rival. My new team has a solid hold on first place in the division. Can you guys in Baltimore understand now why I decided to come here?
-Tex in New York
Dear Tex,
Raucous crowds. Meaningful games. Post-season play. How selfish can you be?
-Roar from 34
Dear Roar from 34,
I've been playing hurt for a guy who doesn't respect me. I don't deserve this.
-Aging and Angry
Dear Aging and Angry,
Congratulations on clearing waivers. Maybe you'll get what you deserve after all.
-Roar from 34
Dear Roar from 34,
Do you guys miss me yet?
-West Coast Flat Brim
Dear WCF,
Yes.
-Roar from 34
Dear Roar from 34,
How about me?
-DL'ed in the Emerald City
Dear DL'ed,
Ummm ... not as much.
-Roar from 34
Image source: Here.
1 comment:
Very clever!
Post a Comment